Visiting Sin

Sin Number One - Envy

I sometimes confuse envy with jealousy - and the other way round - but a useful definition I read is that envy usually involves two people and jealousy three. I (reluctantly) put my hands up to being jealous on occasion but envious? I hope not.

Envy is a nasty, spiteful feeling and people who experience envy on a regular basis are among the unhappiest people in the world. I have a relative (you know who you are) who almost spits blood on hearing that someone she knows has been given a rise/bought a new car/or been on a luxury holiday. Because of the bile envy churns up inside her she lives a life full of twisted sadness and has learnt to enjoy the life of martyrdom and chaos she has created for herself as she feels that is what makes her 'relevant'.

Professional jealousy, eh I mean envy, is simmering away at work at the moment. Imagine the scene; A very clever, bright, confident, knowledgeable and talented person is given a position of huge responsibility at the relatively young age of 32. This person is put in charge of a large group of professionals, most of who have been working together for a very long time, many of whom have an over inflated opinion of their own abilities, none of whom have a fraction of the new managers talent, but are resentful and are so envious they rally together to make life very difficult for the young high flyer. These 'professionals' scheme and plot, they behave in a belligerent manner and do their very best to make the new manager feel wretched. Each one is suffering from an acute dose of envy and collectively they are a powerful harmful force.

As I leave the office each evening, sometimes quite late, the new manager is still working away at her desk creating innovative ways of working, producing work that is exciting and meaningful - both in an attempt to make a difference and to impress the unimpressable. I admire her tenacity but worry it is only a matter of time before she throws in the towel and takes her talent and ideas somewhere else and she is replaced by someone who is bland and non threatening, someone that the envious plebs will take to their bosom and manipulate and feel superior too and their envy will hibernate until someone else with a special 'spark' comes along and awakens it.

If I see a beautiful man or woman I take pleasure in admiring their beauty. If a friend has good fortune I rejoice for them. I would feel disgusted with myself if for one minute I was anything other than admiring or, maybe sometimes, only slightly wistful. But as I said envious - I hope - never.



So whats the difference with feeling envious and being jealous I hear you ask? Jealousy is a ugly emotion, equally vile and abhorrent. Yet you admit to having indulged in that on occasion! Doesn't that make you a bad person? Weak? As despicable as the Envy Churners?

Well...no.

and here's why:

Wiki -

Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. It is not to be confused with envy.

Jealousy is a familiar experience in human relationships. It has been observed in infants five months and older. Some claim that jealousy is seen in every culture; however, others claim jealousy is a culture-specific phenomenon.

Jealousy as an emotion or the impact of jealousy has been a theme of many novels, songs, poems, films and other artistic works. It has also been a topic of interest for scientists, artists, and theologians. Psychologists have proposed several models of the processes underlying jealousy and have identified factors that result in jealousy. Sociologists have demonstrated that cultural beliefs and values play an important role in determining what triggers jealousy and what constitutes socially acceptable expressions of jealousy. Biologists have identified factors that may unconsciously influence the expression of jealousy. Artists have explored the theme of jealousy in photographs, paintings, movies, songs, plays, poems, and books. Theologians have offered religious views of jealousy based on the scriptures of their respective faiths.

So jealousy has inspired people to be creative (as well as destructive I know, but those who go to extremes are fuelled by some combination of emotions and feelings of which jealousy is only one element) and, more importantly, the only person to usually suffer from jealousy is the person feeling it, unlike envy which sends out malevolent waves to others. Jealousy is a destructive emotion certainly but it stems from fear. Left unchecked this fear can manifest itself as jealousy and, unless it results in a crime of passion (note it isn't known as a 'crime of jealousy' - there must be a reason for that), it is pretty much self contained. I suppose I must acknowledge at this point that it has been observed by Bertrand Russell and others that envy can also act as an inspiration and drive people to do better. In a 'keep up with the Jones' way? Now there is an expression you don't hear much these days. I wonder why that is?

Envy, on the other hand, is best defined as an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another's (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it."

Envy can also derive from a sense of low self-esteem that results from an upward social comparison threatening a person's self image: another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have. If the other person is perceived to be similar to the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly intense, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been he or she who had the desired object.

Bertrand Russell said envy was one of the most potent causes of unhappiness (what did I say about my envy enveloped relative?). It is a universal and most unfortunate aspect of human nature because not only is the envious person rendered unhappy by his envy, but also wishes to inflict misfortune on others. UGH!

OK kids, hereth endth the lesson on the first deadly sin. Jealousy not good. Envy BAD. Try not to indulge in the first and do not do the latter.

Final Word goes to Milan Kundera;

'Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace'

Woof Woof