Wise Words

Not mine. Obviously.

What is wisdom? According to Wiki it is:
Wisdom is a deep understanding and realising of people, things, events or situations, resulting in the ability to choose or act to consistently produce the optimum results with a minimum of time and energy. It is the ability to optimally (effectively and efficiently) apply perceptions and knowledge and so produce the desired results. Wisdom is also the comprehension of what is true or right coupled with optimum judgment as to action. Synonyms include: sagacity, discernment, or insight. Wisdom often requires control of one's emotional reactions (the "passions") so that one's principles, reason and knowledge prevail to determine one's actions.


Some say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself - Andy Warhol


One's first step in wisdom is to question everything - and one's last is to come to terms with everything - Georg C. Lichtenberg


People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die - Plato

Knowing what will happen in the future, we are faced with a simple choice: either we resolve not to become attached to people and things, or we decide to love them even more fiercely -

Amélie Nothomb - The character of Rain


The longer one holds onto a memory, the longer one lives in the past. The deeper the memory they hold onto, the more beautiful the past will become. The beautiful memories will eventually turn into hate. Even if they look ahead, they lose the ability to walk. As long as the heavy chain called revenge continues to bind the heart, the tears of sadness will continue to flow - Buddha

Our lives are based on what is reasonable and common sense; truth is apt to be neither - Christmas Humphreys



The educational principle of evolution demands in the educational field: respect for human nature and of the individual; its stimulation to full development, expression, activity and initiative; natural, hence joyful, experience of life; stimulation to develop the senses, strengthening the body, to explore, to be lucid and to discover things; providing the minds with suitable nourishment; constant progress. It forbids: arbitrary assumptions and manipulations of human nature; any encouragement to act blindly and mechanically; any kind of drill; rote learning; uniformity; force-feeding with subject matter that is not understood etc. (quoted in Günther 1994: 297)


Nuff said.

Final Rant

Not wanting to sound like I have a bee in my bonnet about Sat Navs and I promise that this is the last time I will mention them but...

A few weeks ago I had to go to Leytonstone. Not an area of London I am entirely unfamiliar with, and looking at the route on line, I was reassured to see that it was a mere 25 minutes away. Two hours later I reached my destination having been exposed to the strange end of the Lea Bridge Road and a confusing grid of one ways and no entries. As it only took me a little over 20 minutes to get home I had to conclude that my map reading skills are not as good as I like to think they are and the next time I was to travel somewhere I didn't know very well maybe I should borrow a Sat Nav.

Today the SN got me to Epping Forest in just twenty minutes. But the journey from Epping to Battersea was an absolute nightmare. I ended up being sent up and down the streets of the East End including a very busy and car unfriendly Brick Lane. And for some reason the Thames had decided to play hide and seek. Tower Bridge had disappeared altogether and I will be very surprised to see it in its usual place tomorrow as it wasn't where it should be earlier. Listening to that SN made me waste a whole hour and worse, led to a panicking, tightening feeling in my chest. Things were not as they should be and I was out of kilter. On the third journey down the same road I finally figured out why I can't use one.

I just don't trust it.

How can you trust it not to let you down, make you late or get you lost? I like to know where I am going and what I might see along the way. It is too much to ask to give up control of ones destiny to a third party. I like reassurance. I like clear guidance. I don't want to be messed around and sent on wild goose chases. I want to be able to trust that I am not going to be hopelessly lost and abandoned. With a Sat Nav you can never really trust that it wont lose a signal, it won't send you down the wrong path or it wont just give up and leave you stranded alone and miles from anywhere.

Given that I am also a misunderstander I am never going to cope with something as vague as a SN. I have little concept of distance. 100 yards, 80 yards, 1.5 of a mile - I cannot visualise any of these things. East? West? Why say such things?  Why not just be more specific? SN says 'turn left in 100 yards' and, once I work out which way is left, I make the turn only to find it is 50 yards to soon and I am in someones drive way. So misunderstanding, poor judgement and sheer panic leads to mistrust and resentment. I finally had enough when, having spotted London Bridge to my left, the SN told me to go right. It obviously had its own agenda. That was it. I cut off its lifeline.  I found my way to Battersea under my own steam which wasn't difficult because I know where Battersea is. Unlike the SN.
When they invent a SN that reassures me on route - 'you're doing really well, we will reach our destination in about 15 minutes, traffic allowing.' and gives me clear, precise directions 'do a left at the Kings Head, pass the Icelands on the right and take the next left where the Shell garage is' then I might invest in one because in my heart I quite like gadgets and I am all for progress. Until then I will use my trusty A-Z. And factor in an extra hour for my journey.

Creating Adventures

Having been feeling off colour all week the last few days have seen my general unwellness develop into a fever and headache that kept me awake all last night. I am never too bothered about bouts of insomnia, normally I fall asleep with ease, and when that doesn't happen I read. But last night was awful. The fever made me toss and turn and the raging thirst meant drinking lots of water which in turn meant lots of visits to the loo. Still I had some blog ideas in the small hours that in the cold light of the morning don't seem interesting or appropriate for a blog. Now there's a thing. Interesting. How do you make a blog interesting? Stories about my mum's disconnection with the 21st century (she had never eaten pizza until last week!) or my attempts at thrift are not the stuff of 'must reads' for the masses.
Last week I had a great idea for a book which when I told my friend G about it he insisted that it has already been done. 'Has it? Are you sure? I haven't seen it and I would buy it'.
'No, I'm not sure, but really K, it has to have been done already. I'll Google it.' And what did he find? Zilch. Which goes to show that all the good ideas have not already been done  - just like all the great songs have not already been written. Every time I hear a song that blows me away I think 'well, this is it. There cannot be any more songs this wonderful waiting to be written'. After all there aren't that many notes are there? Or ways of arranging those notes? Is it infinite? And 'I love/hate you' or 'I want you/don't want you' or 'I want to fuck/be fucked' has been said in every way possible. Hasn't it?
Sadly I may not get round to producing my book. I say producing because it really requires little effort on my part other than organisation as it relies on contributions from other people. No doubt I will see it become a bestseller and say 'Bloody hell, I thought of that ages ago' just like I did about 'Friends Reunited' years before that became a reality.
Yesterday was beautiful. March sometimes surprises us with warm sunny days and although I would have liked to have stayed in bed hiding my red nose and bloodshot eyes under the covers I made myself visit my local high street which is becoming increasingly upmarket. Its only supermarket is a M&S, the high street has a bakers, butchers (organic of course), a florist, a greengrocers and a hardware store. It also boasts a library and a lovely Italian delicatessen. The area has also recently acquired a Farmers Market and two really interesting, but, in my mind 'posh' shops, catering mainly to the parents who send their children to the two private schools that are within a 100 yards of the high street. One is a cooking 'experience' shop which displays it 'le creuset' items among tastefully arranged cups that have been designed by some obscure but expensive cup designer. It is all very cheerful and well laid out and at the back is a large glass window behind which is the kitchen where they give cookery lessons. During the school holidays they give lessons to children and in the evenings they teach adults to cook fish, make pasta and bake cakes. When I popped in during half term the kitchen was filled with white children that answered to the names of Rufus or Petronia. Directly opposite this shop is a new toy shop that is run, I am sure, by an ex actress. She is a lovely welcoming woman, with a warm smile and when I went in there yesterday, drawn by a little book I had spotted in the window, the entire middle of the shop, which normally houses big tables displayed with books that have never seen the inside of a WH Smith, was transformed into a craft area where again, lots of white middle class children made collages while their young nannies watched over them. When I say toy shop that isn't exactly what it is. Most of the items for sale are things that children would have to make. So it stocks gorgeous puppet theatres, tree houses and dens made of durable, and I am sure, recyclable cardboard. There is lots of art materials and I found a lovely 'Captains Log' book that I would have loved as a child. What had drawn me in was a lovely little book called 'Adventure Walks for Families in and around London'. Inspired by the sunny day and Bryson's rambling around this isle I crave to walk in woods and fields and this book is a little gem. Not only does it have the details of over 20 walks but it has suggestions on what to do on these walks from stories you can tell, songs you can sing, and games you can play. It give advice on the essential walk pack, it gives you diversionary tactics to use if the children get tired and recommends themed picnics, shows you how to make catapults, build shelters and how to 'mudlark'. It also gives tips on identifying trees and plants. I was pleased to see they included one of my children's favourite walks when they were young - Ashdown Forest and its 'Winnie the Poo and Enchanted Forest' walk. If you go there at the right time of year you can wallow in its bluebell woods. There are several walks in London itself and walks in all the surrounding counties.
Many of my happiest childhood memories are those of rambles with my grandparents. My grandad would cut out the ramble printed in the Evening News on a Friday and we would set off on Saturday morning (by public transport) to the start of the walk and spend many happy hours in woods and fields singing 'I've Got Sixpence' before stopping off at some eatery (it was never a pub) before returning to the bus stop and catching the bus back to Brixton. I am determined to create those special memories for my grandson and springtime will see us 'Walking with Raptors' in Oxfordshire, playing 'Hideouts and Highwaymen' in Epping Forest or visiting 'High Tower' in Surrey. Or even simply flying kites on Hamptead Common or time travelling in Greenwich. The opportunities for adventure are endless.

I Love Dave

...the home of witty banter.

How cool is that? To be the actual home of witty banter?

Channel 4? The home of freaky documentaries? BBC? The home of political correctness? ITV? The home of Ant and Dec? Give me witty banter any day.

Talking of TV my mum needs a new telly, on account of everyone on hers being green (in colour, not in eco friendliness) so I took her to Currys, a version of hell on earth, only exceeded in nastiness by PC World. I got distracted by a bread maker and when I caught up with her, lost in a sea of flat screens, she looked at me in confusion and asked where the 'normal sets are'? 'What do you mean? I asked. 'Proper telly's. Not these flat black ones. They look as if they will fall over. I want a proper solid telly.' We left empty handed.

Why do I hate PC World? My daughter bought a lap top at 5.45pm last Saturday and when she got it home it wouldn't work. On Sunday at 11am she returned it to PC World who offered to send it off for a repair. It took 3 hours and a lots of protesting before they agreed to replace it. And even then they had to pop next door to Curry's to get a replacement as they had run out of that particular model. Word of advice. Go to John Lewis.

How is my resolution to shop only for clothes in charity shops going I hear you ask? Brilliantly. Much better than I expected. Everyday someone comments on what I am wearing. This week alone I have been called, by a stranger, a 'snazzy dresser' (on account, I think, of the bright orange chiffon sequined scarf I was wearing that I think may have been, in a previous life, a sari) and friends, both male and female, have said something lovely about what I have been wearing each day. I have found that rather than dressing in what the buyers for the high street shops I have decided I should be wearing this season I am wearing things that I have chosen. I am experimenting and mixing and matching as I never have before. Have I saved any money? Not really, the fact that charity shops also sell books put paid to that. But I might have saved a tree or two.

In recent weeks I have reignited my eBay addiction. Today I 'won' a £129 framed copy of a Mark Rothko print for £10 and narrowly missed out on a bread maker for £11. I love eBay. what else do I love?

My car
Daffodils
Tea
Eyebrow pencils
Cook books
and Bill Bryson.

I am re reading his 'Notes on a Small Island' and have revisited, with him, Corfe Castle, Snodland and Swanage. I sit up in bed, laughing out loud at his mild adventures in Dorset.

What do I hate?

Sat Nav
Cramp
Curry's
PC World
and Red Nose Day

Secret Bargains, Hustle and Talented People

Best buy this week from a second hand shop was a book called 'Buddhism for Sheep'
http://www.wisdom-books.com/ProductDetail.asp?PID=6103

A gem of a book. A bargain at 50p. My other great bargain this week was an Etagere (yeah I had to look that up) from eBay which cost the grand total of 99p. Even buying the paint (heirloom white - in a spray can! so clever) to give it a desperately needed face lift means that I now own a lovely item of furniture which fits snuggley into an alcove in my bedroom and not only offers more storage in the form of 3 useful drawers but it also has good sized shelves for books and nic nacs. All for under a tenner.

I am happy to report that I have, so far, stuck to my challenge of only buying clothes from charity shops this year. In fact I have taken it a step further and have found a shop that sells secondhand furniture, books and 'object d'art' and all proceeds go to a homeless charity. As I was browsing in there last week I was dismayed to learn that it has unfortunately been 'discovered' by that icon of style, Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen. Sadly this little treasure trove of a shop was raided by the great man himself the day before my last visit and lots of items had 'sold' stickers on them. LLB is apparently going to feature the shop in a new TV series so now the chances of stumbling upon a bargain is likely to be reduced as more and more people find out about this place. What is heartening is that even in todays climate of increased austerity, and sites like eBay, that some people donate things they no longer need or want instead of selling them on.

Although I have managed to find a couple of DVDs in charity shops it is still hard to beat Amazon for buying CDs and DVDs. I have got into the habit over the last few weekends of watching the 'Hustle' DVDs. I stumbled upon this entertaining programme in its 6th season and was so enthralled that I have been buying the previous series on DVD from Amazon. My daughter and I settle down with a bottle (or two) of Prosecco and watch the whole series (six episodes) in one sitting. It's stars, Adrian Lester and Marc Warren, are wonderful as Mickey Stone and Danny Blue and the stunningly beautiful Jaime Murray plays Stacie Monroe with real pazazz.  

There is some great talent out there. Take Adrian Lester for example. Lester could be described as a 'Shakespearian Actor'. He attended RADA and has won awards for his 'serious' roles. Yet, as Mickey Bricks, Lester plays a wide range of characters from old Etonian types to ghetto boy gangstas and plays them believably. Yet when, in character as Mickey, Lester manages to display a dignity, a calmness and intelligence that is hypnotic and contrasts well with Warrens 'cheeky chappie' Danny Blue. The writers of the Hustle are incredibly clever too. Not just in terms of the technicality of the con, and the twists in the storyline, but in managing to make all five members of the team of grifters appealing, likeable and somehow managing to maintain the moral highground. No mean feat! The other 'star' of the programme is London. It looks beautiful.

Lester can act. He can dance. He is even a black belt in taekwondo. The man's a marvel:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/adrian-lester-back-on-the-hustle-1227935.html

Another marvel, who I may have mentioned before is the wonderfully talented Bruno Mars. 'Grenade' still remains my favourite track from his album 'Doo Wops & Hooligans', but check out the lighthearted reggae 'Lazy Song'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FZtN7T5PXM&feature=related

Another great track is 'Runaway baby'. Mars and his writing team are heavily influenced by a huge range of musical artists and genres of music and consequently their work is rich and varied. Mars has it all. Great voice, great songs and is so bloody cute!

Very uncute but extremely talented is Emenim, whose work only gets better and better. He really should do more acting because when he is on the screen it is hard to take your eyes away from him. He has an brooding intense presence and a way with words that is razor sharp. Take the domestic violence track he did with Rhianna, 'Love the Way You Lie'. If you have had experience of DV, either as the beaten or the beater, these lyrics, and the tone in which Eminem spits them out, will resonate with you. As does the way Rhianna sings the hopeful and pathetic chorus.

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/e/eminem/love_the_way_you_lie.html

One critic of the song said 'Clearly he (Eminem) understands the psychology well, and can express the feelings with enormous clarity.' He understands lies alright. Desperation, disgust and despair too. And the very essence of bitttersweet.

Adele. Talent. Passion. Vulnerability. What more can I say?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qemWRToNYJY

Unsung Hero

My best friends father died 35 years ago and last night I had a dream about him. Cyril was a tall gangly bus driver who was always making jokes and making us teenage girls laugh. Cyril had also saved someones life in a fire once which shows that not only was he funny and kind but he was very brave too. He was only about 40 when he died of cancer. I can vividly remember the week he died. The cancer had travelled to his brain and even though he was medicated with morphine he still cried through the night in pain. My best friend K and I would lie in her single bed and listen to the soothing voice of her mother as she tried to comfort him. In my dream last night Cyril wasn't a bus driver but a butcher and not Ks father but her husband, He was still funny and great company but at one point in the dream he stopped joking around and went very quiet and serious. I hugged him and felt how thin and frail he was behind the big personality and I promised to love him forever.  
Earlier this week I met K for a drink and we talked about her father, who was actually her step father. K was saying how tragic it was that Cyril had died at such an early age and how he would have loved being a Grandad. It was a role he certainly would have relished and thrown himself into with gusto. His grandchildren would have had wonderful times with him and loved him very much. Ks 'real' dad left when she was 2 years old and has had very little input, both as a father and a grandfather, although by all accounts he went on to have another family in which he fulfils those roles.
The impact of Cyril's personality and kindness means that 35 years after his death he is still remembered fondly, even by people like me whose life he touched for a very short time.

If you go down to the woods today....

Bill Bryson's 'A Walk in the Woods' is proving to be a very good read. There are whole passages I can identify with, even if my experience of hiking is very limited, and rambling in the 'peaks' of Dartmoor do not compare to hiking in those of the Smokey Mountains. When Bryson says 'the hardest part was coming to terms that there is always more hill. The thing about being on a hill, as opposed to standing back from it, is that you can almost never see exactly what is to come. Each time haul yourself up to what you think must surely be the crest, you find that there is still more hill beyond, sloped at an angle that had kept it from your view'. How well I know that feeling, not just from hiking but from life itself.

'A Walk in the Woods' is, as Bryson's work invariably is, informative, funny and thoughtful. It tells the story of his hike along the longest continuous footpath in the world, the Appalachian Trail which snakes from Georgia to Maine. The walk takes him through the Smokey Mountains and the Great North Woods of Maine, and these places are 'filled with bears, moose, bobcats, rattlesnakes, poisonous plants, disease-bearing ticks and the occasional chuckling murderer'

Even if I were fit enough to attempt such a walk the things that lurk among the trees would put me off. Dartmoor, with its inexplicable corpses of lambs dotted around, stripped of their fleece which lies scattered around the bare bones, is spooky enough but bears? Chuckling murderers? Ticks? What does attract me to such walks however is the sense of achievement, the awe and wonder one experiences when confronted with an amazing view and the isolation one can embrace. Not a lonely isolation but the feeling that you are but a small speck in a huge world and away from the manic toils of real life is this amazing calm. Such moments have a spirituality about them that is hard to find anywhere else. Bryson, an American living in England, was in the news this week:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/feb/14/bryson-railway-litter-campaign
When interviewed on the news Bryson looked like a big ole bear himself.

The was a great programme on Channel 4 earlier this week 'Elephant Life After Death'.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8329216/The-Elephant-Life-After-Death-Channel-4-review.html
Admittedly gruesome viewing but pretty amazing. For instance did you know that female Hyenas, according to the documentary, give birth through a penis. In fact what looks like a penis is actually an elongated clitoris. This article, from the Japan Times, explains it in eye wateringly detail:
http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/fe20020919rh.html


Back to Bears. If you ever get the urge to tackle the AT here's some advice:
If a Bear Charges…
•Remember that many bears charge as a bluff. They may run, then veer off or stop abruptly. Stand your ground until the bear stops, then slowly back away.

•Never run from a bear! They will chase you and bears can run faster than 30 mph.

•Don't run towards or climb a tree. Black bears and some grizzlies can climb trees, and many bear will be provoked to chase you if they see you climbing.

•If you have pepper spray, be sure that you have trained with it before using it during an attack.

Before you start thinking that the AT is the most dangerous place to hike let me draw your attention back to Dartmoor. Quite apart from the legendary Beast of Dartmoor there have been reports of sightings of the devil!
 Dartmoor abounds with myths and legends. It is reputedly the haunt of pixies, a headless horseman, a mysterious pack of 'spectral hounds', and a large black dog. During the Great Thunderstorm of 1638, Dartmoor town of Widecombe-in-the-moor was even said to have been visited by the Devil. Many landmarks have ancient legends and ghost stories associated with them, such as Jay's Grave, the ancient burial site at Childe's Tomb, the rock pile called Bowerman's Nose, and the stone crosses that mark mediaeval routes across the moor. A few stories have emerged in recent decades, such as the 'hairy hands', that are said to attack travellers on the B3212 near Two Bridges; and the 'Beast of Dartmoor', a supposed large cat.
Hairy hands? Detached from a body hands? Give me a bear anyday.