Everyone needs to have access both to grandparents and grandchildren in order to be a full human being. - Margaret Mead
Driving home yesterday with my grandson we had a conversation about all his virtues.
'You are a kind boy' I said in response to him describing how, if he ever stumbled across a lost baby goose, how gently he would treat it, despite the grown ones we feed being very aggressive and scary. We had just seen a flock of Canadian Geese fly across the park.
'And I am a good sharer' he went on.
'Yes, I'd noticed that' I said.
'And I am a good com-pee-anier' he finished.
'What is a com-pee-anier? I asked.
'You know, I keep people company. It makes me tired sometimes though'.
Oh, to be in such demand. He is absolutely right. He is very good company which explains why his grandparents are all keen to have him overnight. And I am sure we do wear him out sometimes with our endless kisses, questions and chatter.
Yet however demanding we are grandparents are incredibly important in the family structure. One advantage grandparents can provide is financial, occasionally helping out until payday or contributing to big purchase. The giving of our time is also an invaluable resource. But it is what is called a 'special bond' between grandparent and grandchild that is enduring and unconditional.
http://www.grandparentstoday.com/resources/articles/important.php
http://www.montana.edu/wwwhd/ncp_grant/ppt/The_Importance_of_Grandparents_in_the_Lives_of.htmGrandparenting
Global Grandparents:
Grandparents Vital in African-American Families
Teaching, Caregiving and Providing Are Among the Roles They Fill
By Susan Adcox
Roles in African-American Families
African-American grandchildren are likely to say that their grandparents hold positions of authority, that they are involved in discipline, that they provide financial assistance and often act as parents. The grandchildren are also likely to see accepting a grandparent's guidance as part of their duty as grandchildren. Research shows that African-American grandparents often see themselves as teachers, and that the lessons they transmit often concern manners, values, morals and religion. Often grandparents reside in the same household as their grandchildren, and the number of grandchildren being raised by grandparents or even great-grandparents is higher in this group than in any other major racial or ethnic group.
The high instance of grandparents as care givers is likely to be linked to the cost of child care and housing. Without wanting to generalise it is possible that the current generation of African American grandparents and great grandparents were most likely to have been employed in lower paid jobs and so are not giving up high paid careers to care for their grandchildren.
Grandparents Important in Hispanic Family Structure
Latino Grandchildren Revere Their Abuelos and Abuelas
By Susan Adcox
Grandparent Roles in Hispanic Families
Hispanic grandparents tend to play traditional roles. The glamorous granny and globetrotting grandfather are rare in this culture. One researcher has found that Mexican-Americans view themselves as "old" at age 60, earlier than black Americans (65) and non-Hispanic whites (70). Paradoxically, in spite of viewing themselves as old, Hispanics in America live longer than the other two groups. At least one doctor believes that family solidarity is a causative factor. "The sense of family is what saves Latinos," says René Rodríguez, president of the Interamerican College of Physicians and Surgeons. "Solid family ties are essential for preserving health. When someone of Hispanic origin gets sick, the whole family shows up worried at the clinic or hospital. This support, this solidarity, is an essential part of Latino life."
Research shows that Hispanic grandparents believe that they are important in the lives of their grandchildren; that they should be ready to raise their grandchildren if necessary; that they should help out in times of crisis; that they can and should have input into decisions made about their grandchildren. Grandparents also see themselves as emissaries of religion, the Spanish language and Hispanic culture in general, but this role is emphasized less as Hispanics become more acculturated.
The closeness of Hispanic families isn't without stresses. Grandparents may worry excessively about family problems or may feel that they must be the peacemakers when rifts occur. One study suggests that grandparents often give more assistance than they receive. Children and grandchildren are often busy with work and school and thus unable to devote much time to the grandparents' needs.
Old at sixty? Whatever happened to being as young as you feel? I have friends that dread becoming grandparents. Some insist their future grandchildren will call then by their first names. I smile knowingly and keep quiet. But I do admit to a rush of pleasure when people find out I'm a grandmother and express surprise. Even when I know they are only being polite!
Indian Grandparents
M. Hemdev
Grandparents act as shock absorbers, which cushion the aftershocks and they also act as bouncing boards, which help to ricochet a range of emotions. The different roles they play only serve to emphasize their vital link in the family. With a wealth of old world experience behind them, and having the unique ability of being able to metamorphose from advisers and listeners to mediators and friends, they can offer support and stability. The underlying sense of responsibility that goes with this is tremendous. The role of grandparents in children’s lives is varied. It is imperial at times, muted at others and goes underground whenever required but all the time solid and absolutely dependable. They are constantly performing artistes who do the balancing act all the time between their adult children and their grandchildren.
Grandparents often bridge the gap between parents and their children. Rebellious independent children who are trying to find their feet are almost always at loggerheads with their parents. The role of the grandparents can be very important provided they act as impartial judges and are able to convey this feeling to both parties. Grandchildren prefer to listen to the grandparents rather than the parents with whom they are unfortunately involved in everyday tussles. The sense of objectivity and the absence of bias lend a sense of credibility to their roles as mediators. Honestly done, this goes a long way in lulling both the parties into a sense of arbitration. Gulfs widen, but at the same time bridges are also built.
One important thing, which seems to be missing in the lives of children today, is the sense of family, values, religious beliefs and principles. This is where the grandparents step in. Inculcating beliefs and values is not as easy as it was 50-60 years ago. No questions were asked and there was an implicit sense of belief. With changing times and changing outlooks, children have started to question the authenticity of everything. They do not believe until they are convinced,. Globalization has eroded the sense of belonging and identity with their roots, and science and technology has them questioning everything. The parents who are already fighting constantly with time are perhaps not in a position to inculcate these values. Children are very demanding, and grandparents without appearing to be pushy have all the time and experience to deal with tantrums. They appease, soothe, and impart values with tremendous ease. The grandparents being on the periphery and still being central can perform this role to perfection. There can be no gainsaying the fact that their role is as important as the role of parents. Their timeless experience, their patience and their ability to create a non-compulsive learning environment is something that even parents have learnt to rely on. This means that the role of grandparents in children upbringing can never really be relegated to the background.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandparent
Sue Adcox also wrote the following artice:
Studying Grandparenting Styles, Past and Future
What Kind of Grandparent Are You?
http://grandparents.about.com/od/growingintoyournewrole/a/GrandparentingStyles.htm
As for a com-pee-anier I can't think of anyone better.
