Memorable firsts:
I don’t remember hanging tightly on to my mums hand as she left me at the school gates but I do remember my first school dinner time and the feeling of helplessness and vulnerability as I didn’t know where to sit or what the routine was. I remember the dinner lady insisting I ‘eat it all up’. An insistence given with a scowl - not an encouraging smile.
My first kiss happened in Hackney, across the road from the town hall where I had spent the evening at my first 'real' disco. I was thirteen and he was much older, about seventeen I suppose. It was also the first time I sampled Chinese cuisine, courtesy of the spring roll he bought me, before diving in for a snog. It wasn't nice. The kiss or the spring roll. Too greasy. My first love was Keith who looked like a cross between Joss Harknett and a chimpanzee and he smelt of putty, had the most amazing smooth skin, and the widest mouth ever. Funny what you remember. That mouth used to almost swallow me. We were an item for about 18 months during which time we went out once, to the cinema to watch the Stephen King film ‘Carrie’. The rest of the time we stayed in my room.
I never ever watch ‘The One Show’ but had occasion to see it this week and as fate would have it they were talking about the first record ‘famous’ people had purchased and Holly Johnson, of Frankie Goes To Hollywood fame, was talking about his first vinyl purchase which happened to be ‘Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars’. Cue lots of Bowie clips. Hell, Keith wasn’t my first love - Bowie was!
As they were showing clips I said to my son that there was an instruction on the album cover saying 'to be played at maximum volume' and then as soon as the words had left my mouth Holly Johnson said 'and look, it says 'to be played at maximum volume' which I did.' Me too Holly.
This was also the first LP Keith had ever bought and he lent it to me and then to our friend Amanda. When it was time to be returned it slipped out of its cover as Amanda was walking across the estate and it broke into little vinyl pieces. Amanda, always full of held back tears, let go and cried for days. This period of lamenting lasted almost as long as the time she thought she was pregnant. Amanda almost had sex in 1973 and was convinced she was pregnant until finally in 1975 we were able to convince her that the baby, if there was one, would have shown its face by now. It was days before she was strong enough to tell Keith his LP was no more and he only forgave her when she replaced it. It took her weeks to do so as the LP was £2.99 and her pocket money was 50p a week. I think I threw in 25p to speed it along a little. My first record was bought in the A1 Stores in the Walworth Road. The A1 Stores were basically a light and ornament shop that sold records out back. My first purchase was ‘Puppy Love’ by Donny Osmond and it cost me 50p. There was an article about record shops in the G2 this week but it focused on the sort of record shop that only 'serious' music lovers could frequent. A kind of middle class record shop that I would have been too scared to enter. The A1 Stores was pure working class...non pretentious, down to earth and, if it were around today, you would be able to ask for the latest Lady GaGa (another huge Bowie fan, and, in my opinion, an Angel with the voice of, eh... an angel) without being made to feel like a philistine. Another working class record store was DJs on the corner of East Street/Old Kent Road, which was purely a music store and was where I bought all my 12 inches. It is now a photocopy/office supply shop.
My first flat when I left home was in East Street and my first double bed was bought in ‘Wheatland’s' on the Old Kent Road a couple of doors down from DJs.
For some reason we bought an orthopedic mattress and I used to go into the shop every week with my payment of £5. This bed, a TV, a cooker and an green onyx lighter, ash tray and cigarette case, a set bought from the A1 Store,(which has only recently closed down) was the first 'furnishing' I ever owned.
That 'Puppy Love' single was my pride and joy, and was soon followed by a copy of Wizards 'I wish it could be Christmas every day' which was a present from Keith and Steve. They had clubbed together to buy it for me for Christmas. These two records formed my entire record collection and it wasn't until I started work that I was able to afford LPs. So in 1976 I finally managed to buy 'Ziggy' and in 1978 Keith bought me Bowie's Diamond Dogs. Because of being poor and unable to buy music at will, Bowie was really the only artist I ever spent money on.
I'm reading a book called 'You Know You're Past It When' and it is full of amusing obsevations such as you know you're past it when:
You can live without sex, but not without your glasses
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio
You finally get your head together, but now you body is disintergrating
You like telling stories, over and over again
But it failed to mention the ultimate sign of getting old -
You know you're past it when there are no more Firsts.
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