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Bendy Buses, Double Deckers, Taxis, Tubes and Trains
Natural habitats for the 'Jobs Worths' who take great pleasure-
in causing grief and giving unneccessary pain,
Right Change? Wrong Ticket? Slap a fine for good measure.
'Yeah..what do you want, the special?' asks the sullen waitress,
pencil poised, wearing an expression of the utmost glum.
Just where do they find these people? who couldn't care less?
Yet, no doubt she'll expect a tip, not a well earned kick up the bum!
Dare to interrupt a couple of young shop assistants chatting -
They will turn to you with disdain,
Any request that you make may as well have been said in Latin,
For they will make you feel as if you are being a pain!
'Excuse me, how do I get to Leicester Square'
Innocently asked of a passer by, will get you a look as if you had said -
'Cor, look at the knockers on her! Lovely. What a fine pair!
They will give you the stare, and you'll wish you'd stayed in bed.
You will have heard that Londoners queue, and that you'd better stand in line
British bobbies are the best - but beware travelling on the underground
For if they shout 'Stop!' you had better obey them in time,
As a young man called Jean Charles De Menezes tragically found.
Enjoy your Visit!
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