I Ain't Lost, Just Wandering

Let's think up the strangest religious observations and see how many people observe them

Not allowed to tear a piece of kitchen roll off on the Sabbath? Taping the fridge light switch to the off position so that on the Sabbath they can open the fridge door in order to get the food they had to prepare the day before because some rule meant that cooking on the Sabbath was a no no? Covering up perfectly lovely hair with someone elses hair? Wow....cutting off a baby boys foreskin seems a reasonable religious observance compared to these rituals and beliefs.
http://simplytelevision.blogspot.com/2011/06/photos-itv1s-strictly-kosher.html

Other strange religious practices include exorcism. penance, and the transferring of your sins to a chicken. Then there are a thousand weird rituals associated with birth, sex, marriage and death. We humans are a strange lot.

Embarrassing Moment Number One:

Some blogs ago I wrote about seeing ghosts. Of course these 'ghosts' were no more than memories that sometimes appear to haunt me. A couple of days ago I saw another one but this one was made of flesh and blood. I saw my ex husband walking along the road we used to live on. In fact I bumped into him on the very same road just a couple of weeks ago. It's as if he haunts this stretch of pavement. As I was driving to Tescos I saw him walking along and on that occasion he saw me. I had seconds to make a decision - do I stop and say hi or do I just drive past? There was no way I could plead that I didn't see him and what the hell? We were together for 27 years, we have two children and share a grandchild. So what its been over 6 years since we have spoken, apart from one very uncomfortable 'hello, how are yous' a couple of years ago. Surely life to too short for holding grudges or nursing resentment? Well, apparently not! Pulling over I wound the window down, 'Hi' I said 'How are you?' 'Yeah OK.' he said. Then nothing. 'Right. Good. Well . I'll be on my way.' I eventually said. 'Yeah. Bye' he curtly replied. Oh well.

Strangely enough I was having friends round that very evening, two couples and both the husbands knew my ex husband back in the day, in fact P actually went to school with him. It is really interesting to hear what they had thought our relationship was like and it really is true - you never know what is going on behind closed doors.

Fortunately when I saw him again on this road earlier this week I was able to quickly drive down another street in order to avoid him. But that street only held more ghosts. I was shocked at the ugliness of a new building that hides the absolute purity of an oasis, parts of which can be glimpsed through the coloured glass of its shell. I am usually a fan of modern architecture, and love an eclectic mix of old and new but was amazed at this madness and how strongly I disliked it. I had wanted be impressed. Maybe it will grow on me or maybe I am biased.  Maybe I am distressed by change. Or maybe I'm just getting old and Prince Charles like. Carbuncle!

Embarrassing Moment Number Two:

Hot desking yesterday I arrived to find an empty office. Putting my papers down on the nearest desk and hanging my bag over the chair I rearranged my underwear before popping out to the foyer to get a coffee from the machine. I then returned to the empty office again, put the coffee down and had one final readjustment of my knickers before I sat down only to notice two workmen in a cradle outside the window staring at me in surprise.

Embarrassing Moment Number Three:

After a joint visit with a disabled colleague (he has a club foot, and a big mouth he is always putting it in) we got in my car. As he lives near me I often drive him home but on this occasion I was dropping him off somewhere else as I had another appointment. We got in my car discussing the visit we had just made and as he was putting the seat belt on I whipped it out of his hand and strapped him in. The look of shock on his face was a picture as I had literally snatched it out of his hand. When I realised what I'd done I quickly explained 'Oh H, I am so sorry. I thought you were my dad! He has had a stroke and can't do up his seat belt as his arm doesn't work properly.' I didn't add I also strap my mum in as she can never find the bit you click into and I have to unwind the belt from around her neck to do that as for some reason she thinks she has to put her head through the seat belt prior to securing it. I don't know what was worse - treating H like some old codger or saying I though he was my dad. Maybe he'll turn the next offer of a lift down.

I had the privilege to be invited to one of my schools Year 6 leaving assembly. The children put on a fantastic musical show with wonderful songs, delivered with gusto, acting with great comic timing and, thankfully, the usual problems with set and prop malfunctions which make school plays a thing of delight. The real treat of this show was a year 6 girl who sang a solo accompanied by just a piano. She sang, beautifully and with aplomb, 'Hometown Glory'. With a slight change to the lyrics this child sang with a really soulful, jazzy voice and brought the house down. The head told me later that she joined the school in Year 5, an angry, often violent child, who had been excluded from her previous school. Her new school discovered her talent, encouraged it and gave her the opportunity to indulge it. The head said 'When the year 7 head of year of the school she's moving to in September came to visit I made them promise they will encourage her musically. And I will be checking that they are.' Here's Adele who performs it only marginally better than this young girl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nL49yZNE4yk